I have very little free time, as I am sure most – if not all – of you reading this can relate to. Between raising my three children, working full-time, building my matchmaking business, and the rest of life (being a friend, a girlfriend, and also carving out time and space for “me” time) – there isn’t much space in the margin for anything else.
So maintaining a perfectly clean home? Doesn’t happen. One of these days I will hire a housekeeper to come in regularly and keep my home clean. But for now, while I’m what I call the single-mom-building-a-business budget – AKA, not a ton of extra cash – I can’t have it all. So for now I enjoy using the money I would spend on a cleaner on my café visits and on treats with the kids instead.
While I don’t keep my place Donna Reed spotless, I do keep it in pretty good shape. Only on rare occasions would you would find chaos ruling, with mounds of laundry on my bed or dirty dishes ruling the kitchen. That generally only happens when I’m sick and don’t have the energy to keep things up.
How do I do it? I keep a loosely structured, weekly cleaning schedule and tweak as needed. I also enlist the help of my children. They earn monthly pocket money through chores that are done weekly. Things like vacuuming the floors, Swiffering (no, we don’t mop), dusting, cleaning the bathroom, and window washing each have a price attached to them, and at the end of each month money is paid out based on the work that was done.
We keep all of this written down. It’s a must, because at any give moment my brain is likely in five different places, so remembering who did what and what they should be paid for it is impossible. A simple monthly chart lists the week, the job, the amount given per job, and a space for the initials of the person who did said job. At the end of each month we tally up who did what, and pocket money is then given according to the jobs completed.
I learn by doing, so it took months of trial and error to create a fair system resulting in a clean home and a happy mom and kids. But I am glad I did, because this works like a charm. No more fussing and whining about who does what or who gets paid what. It is all documented, and money is not paid by anything arbitrary like age or behaviour, but for the actual tasks done. It’s great and it works well for the bigger weekly jobs.
For smaller daily chores - such as setting and cleaning the table at meals, helping with laundry, taking out trash, etc, we have a simpler way. Each child has a job that is their responsibility for the week (or for several weeks, if everyone is happy and does not want to change jobs). And this is also attached to a reward – not cash, but our weekly Friday family movie and pizza night. And it also works.
This weekly cleaning and pizza “system” also took a bit for me to make work. Originally these daily tasks were not connected to an incentive. Which means my children got their movie night regardless of whether they’d helped out with family chores. So quite frequently, I was doing my work and theirs, and still paying for pizza and running to the movie store so that they had their fun family night.
Clearly, this did not work for very long, and tweaking was needed. Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for initiating the change to a better way, because it was my BF who pointed out that things could be better. Of course I was offended by his observation (have I mentioned that I am highly allergic to anything that even hints at criticism? I am). But he was right.
When I finally recognised that I was rewarding my kids for working only when they felt like it, I made a change and passed the responsibility of making Friday night fun to the kids and contingent upon them getting their work done. And in the meantime, things work – the kids know what is expected of them and they generally do what should be done. And when they don’t – well, they get less cash and mom has more cash for cappuccino.
And voila – it works! Clean (note that I didn’t say perfect) home, happy kids, peaceful mom. Of course, if I am sick one week or have a crazy busy work week, then I will let our work slide. And on rare occasion I will still call my awesome cleaning lady in for support. But in general, keeping a task-reward system and tracking what is done has saved my sanity – and ensures that we live in a comfortable apartment where chaos and mess are kept in check.